Greetings, Girl-World.
With the hype of feminism and debates on gender equality, I think that it’s time we discuss a few things. Women are awesome lately, and yes, we’ve got a lot going for us right now. But before we take over the world, there are a few issues I would like to address… Here’s what [I think] we should collectively agree to put an end to once and for all:
Recognize that your body today might not be showing the repercussions of your actions—yet – but someday, it will. Choose your sexual partners wisely and don’t throw your body around. And put out the cigarette; it’s much easier to quit when your 21 than when you’re 41.
This is your body… the one that is going to create your children and carry you into your old age. Think about this when you’re getting a “meaningful” tattoo of, I don’t know, an owl.
They don’t. Accept this.
And this doesn’t mean that we can’t embrace the now and enjoy the presence of someone that truly does make us happy. I spend time with people that may or may not be important to me in the future. It’s more the reason to cherish your time together in the present and be forward with your feelings. So don’t stress (too much) over the fact that the guy you’re seeing today may not be the prince charming you marry. Time will tell. Trust it, and have fun.
I’ve done it. You’ve done it. We’ve all done it. But put the phone down next time you’re out with your girlfriends. When we send drunken messages or anonymous tweets we look:
Stupid
Stupid
Stupid
Immature
Cowardly
Unable to handle our liquor
Remind yourself why you’re not with the guy [or girl] you’re about to text. If there’s something so important you suddenly remembered you HAVE to say… it can (and should) wait until tomorrow morning.
My dear god. Stop. Ask the bartender, or the guy sitting next to you, for one good pic of you and your girls at the beginning of the night. Then put the damn camera away. Which leads me to…
You. Don’t. Look. Cool. Instagram. Does. Not. Care. What. You’re. Drinking.
Stop!
First, baby scares. WHY are we DOING THIS?!
You had to pee this morning? Your feet hurt? You had a bad hair day? These aren’t reasons to think you’re pregnant. And these definitely aren’t reasons to tell your guy that you might be. I’ve heard so many of my guy friends’ nightmare girlfriends threatening that they are expecting. Learn your body and do your research, but don’t scare him unless you really have to. It makes you look batshit crazy. Your big “scare” isn’t going to keep your guy around; as a matter of fact, he’s still probably running for the hills… this time, just faster.
It baffles me how many stories I hear of girls getting abused and violated by guys that haven’t done anything wrong. Oh, you were drunk? So was he. Mistakes happen. Don’t throw around deadly words like “rape” and unless you truly have been hurt in such a way. If you don’t think you owe it to your guy, (or ex-guy) to at least respect the truth, you do owe it to the girls that have actually been victims of violence.
We’re perched up on barstools looking like we got jumped on our way from the parking lot. Unless you can do it, really do it well, just don’t.
So, you can flirt, but he can’t try to score? Get over yourself. You are perfectly capable of buying your own drink. Don’t sell yourself out because you’re cheap and he’s confident.
Heels hurt. The sooner we just accept it and get used to it, the better. Just don’t take your shoes off in public, on the street, whatever. You look sloppy. There’s really no point in wearing a sexy pair of heels if you’re going to be trotting down the sidewalk with them in your hands in three hours. If they’re that uncomfortable, don’t buy them. Or invest in Dr. Scholls.
While it is fact that Mean Girls can serve as a visual bible for living surviving girl world, it doesn’t mean we have to strive to reenact it. There’s no excuse for sleeping with a dude that’s taken and there’s no reason to give the stink eye to a girl across the bar just ‘cus she’s another girl. Every girl is guilty; we see one another as competitors rather than teammates in battling the obstacles of womanhood.
At the same time, we need to stop giving each other reasons to hate one another. It seems that a majority of our feuding derives from or at least is perpetuated with the existence of men… so why aren’t we teaming up against the scumbags instead of fighting over them?
And it is especially not helpful that although we might hate, or strongly dislike, another member of girl-world, we still often pretend to like one another “because she’s friends with so-and-so.” These kinds of relationships are toxic. If we don’t like another chick, that’s okay. But what is not okay is putting on a fake face when this other chick is around. Instead, keep your distance, stop talking smack, and move along.
You know what guys aren’t doing on “boys night out?” Talking about you. Let’s all agree to stop giving up our ladies’ night worried about if some dude is going to text us and scrutinizing his every movement. Let your relationships breathe and take one night gossiping about something else.
So, girl-world, go on and be so beautiful. Let’s just knock off the ugly business. And….Go.
XO-B
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